


Dammit, Albert!

by viceversa



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Humidity, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, These two idiots love each other, cheap coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-11-30 01:38:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viceversa/pseuds/viceversa
Summary: Albert is pissed. Cooper is over caffeinated. And it's too damn humid in this armpit of a town.





	1. Chapter 1

Albert was pissed. He was hungry, he was tired, and he was out of cigarettes. And, instead of going home to his own bed, he was stuck in podunkville and currently _walking_ toward his cheap, shared motel room at midnight. In the rain.

Pissed and pissed on.

The case was grating on his nerves too, and was the reason for his chain smoking this week, leading to the lack of nicotine and energy in his system. It started with two bodies from across state lines, bringing them here in the first place, and in three days had escalated to four bodies total. Different races, ages, sexes, and backgrounds. One homeless, one drifter, a mother of three, and a grandfather, all dumped in this town but taken from different cities around the area. All shot, mid-range sniper, to the chest, carried off from the scene of the crime without witnesses. No evidence except traces of hair from the same cat found on all the bodies.

To Albert’s greatest annoyance, the forensic facilities in this particular hellhole were more than adequate enough for the FBI to see no reason why Albert couldn’t stay in town and cut down on travel costs. The only reason he wasn’t considering a different career at the moment was that he was once again partnered with Dale Cooper, the only agent he could call friend in the bureau, besides maybe Dennis Bryson. But Dale was different - friendly with everyone and personal with only a few that included Albert. 

So, instead of solving at least some of his problems by heading toward the only 24-hour gas station with food and cigarettes in the vicinity, he had been summoned by Cooper back to the motel via the shortest phone call of the case so far.

_“Rosenfield.”_

_“Albert! I need you back here - I found a break in the case and I need your eyes on it!”_

_“But Coop-“_

Albert had been hung up on, so to spite the situation and day and whole damn town, he took his sweet time finishing the latest autopsy’s dictation before trudging back to the motel. It was only half a mile west of the crime lab, not worth the wait to call a cab. He knew that whatever Cooper had been working on would either lead to a clue or a dead end, and at this time of night it would wait until morning to follow through with it. Besides, the light rain was a nice change from the rampant humidity of this week. The heat lingered in the air still, the ground still steamy as the rain fell, but Albert was past the point of caring about anything but his impending rest. The rain stopped halfway back to the motel, and the humidity was suddenly twice as bad as before. Albert resigned himself to misery once more.

He could listen to Coop’s excited rambling through the door while he took a hot shower before lumbering to the rocky mattress across from his partner’s on the other side of the room. Or maybe Coop would be too excited and talk to him through the thin hotel shower curtain, and then-

Albert caught himself daydreaming, and cursed at the whole damn situation again because of it, as he approached their side of the strip motel and was passing the cruiser Cooper had taken earlier. Their door was ajar, either to Cooper’s trusting nature or his anticipation of Albert’s arrival. Albert pushed the door open and summoned the strength and energy to greet his colleague.

“Alright, I’m here, what’s the big rush?”

Coop looked up from his seat on his bed, shirt unbuttoned to reveal his undershirt and papers relating to the case spread out all around him. Albert took a moment to take in the scene - Coop flushed with a big smile on his face, a coffee stain on his white shirt, sleeves rolled up, until realizing the reason for his semi-undressed state: it was ungodly hot in this room.

“Albert! Good to see you again - what time is it even? Wow, time flies when you’re working, eh Albert?” Coop said, a little jittery off of motel coffee and the case.

“Jesus, Coop, it’s hot enough to bake in here,” said Albert. He struggled to take off his suit jacket, damp and sticking to his long-sleeved shirt from the rain and now sudden humidity.

“I know, Albert!” said Cooper, moving some more papers around on the bed. “Doesn’t it just get the blood flowing? The A/C puttered out sometime today, and it didn’t help much that I took the hottest shower of my life earlier. That’s why the door’s open, Albert, but there doesn’t seem to be a breeze. I read once about the mind-body connection with in extreme temperature conditions and-“

Cooper went on as Albert finally freed himself of his jacket and threw it on the floor. He turned in the doorway, half-listening to Cooper’s ranting about some mumbo-jumbo about harnessing one’s current environment for focus, and started swinging the still-open door back and forth, trying to get the thick air to move a little. He almost wished he was back in the lab, even if it meant he had to work, just for the power of the air conditioner. Sleeping in this swamp-like climate, with the various mildews already present in the cheap motel room, would be hand basket that would deliver him straight to hell.

“Albert! Were you listening? I said we had another body!”

That got his attention. “Where? Are we about to head out?”

“No,” said Cooper. “It’s in another town, just like the others. This time there was a witness! They said they saw the alleged shooter enter the building adjacent to the scene of the crime, and we have a partial license plate! I’ve alerted the local authorities here to bolo the roads between the cities in case he comes to dump the body tonight.”

“He still managed to get the body? What the hell, Coop!” Albert picked up the pace of his door swinging. It wasn’t helping much, but it was something to do besides pace the floor.

“Take a breath, Albert,” said Coop gently. He rose from the bed, leaving the case file behind him, and finally turned to look at Albert. “It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?” A sigh.

Albert nodded and suddenly stopped the door, more open than before, before slumping his shoulders and sighing himself.

“Coop,” Albert said, “there’s nothing on earth I’d rather have right now than a cool shower, a cigarette, and a sub from Giovanni’s absolutely slathered in avocado. But, considering the miserable armpit of a town swamp we’re stuck in right now, I’m bargaining that I might get a tepid shower before passing out on that bed right there.”

“That’s the spirit Albert!” said Cooper, changing direction in the room. “Just let me splash my face and change so I can finish up these files before we both pass out in this heat!”

Cooper shut the door to the bathroom in exclamation and started to run the water.

Albert, still standing the doorway, rolled his eyes. He almost made to move before he felt the slightest breeze from the door behind him. All of his muscles relaxed as he willed it to become stronger, and he idly wondered if Cooper would mind if he slept entirely nude, and then wondered of Cooper would want to do the same…

“Hey!” A voice from outside the door shouted, taking Albert from his daydream.

 _“What?”_ Albert, replied, turning to the door, “Are we making too much noise or are you just being a dick? Rhetorical question, we both know the answer-“

“Give me your stuff!”

Albert then saw the gun, which made him more annoyed than before. “Seriously? You’re about to rob an FBI agent? What kind of dumbshits fill this godforsaken den of-“ Albert resigned himself to a crime of opportunity and stupidity, figuring that this might as well happen just to top off the crappy day.

“FBI?” the guy said again. “Fuck!” He looked around, about to bolt, and Albert made his way closer to the door and the punk kid, calmly reaching out for the gun.

“Kid, just hand over the gun and we’ll take a trip to your local so-called authorities so your rap sheet can get a little longer and your potential a little smaller, and we won’t have to press charges on a count of you being a dumbass.” Albert had felt with punks like this before, and when faced with authority they almost always wilted.

The kid shook, trying to figure out his fight or flight instinct as he’d never seen anyone just ask for his gun and to surrender before. “Fuck!” he said, again.

“Yes, your limited vocabulary, I should have thought. Gun. Mine. Hand over. You. Under arrest.”

That seemed to trigger something within the kid and his brain switched over fully into panic mode.

A flash of light and footsteps running away was all Albert could register for a moment, and he still stood at the door, suddenly not looking at a person but at the deserted parking lot stretching out beside him. Vaguely, his mouth was open, about to say “Come on, punk, I don’t have all night.”

A beat of silence.

“Albert! Was that a gunshot?” Cooper emerged from the bathroom behind Albert.

Albert turned to look at Cooper, about to say “Yes, Coop,” but was still concerningly silent. His ears started to ring. This was an extremely rude turn of events, considering the shit day he'd had already.

Coop had stopped, eyes wide and face still damp from water. He moved as Albert started to move toward him, a step. Then a falter.

“Albert!” Coop rushed toward him, and suddenly things were horizontal. “Albert what happened!”

“Stupid… kid,” Albert managed, not quite able to focus on what Cooper was doing so close to him.

“Dammit! Dammit dammit dammit! Albert!”

Faintly, Albert recognized that he had rarely heard Coop get so explicit with his language when not directed toward coffee or pie.

Under that thought, he registered not a small amount of pain, adrenaline, and overwhelming annoyance, and then nothing at all.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The next thing Albert felt was pain burning him from the inside out over his left shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed on to the nearest thing with his right hand - Cooper. He struggled breathing through the pain, trying to speak. 

"Coop!" he grunted, breathing fast and loud.

 "Albert! You're awake! That's good, right? I shut the door, Albert, that's why it's still so hot. I'm sorry. And I'm putting pressure on your wound. And ruining your jacket. Am I doing this right, Albert? You're the doctor. Well, technically anyway. A-Albert?" 

 More pressure, Albert thought. Did the bullet go through? Is he clotting? Are you crying, Coop, or is that just sweat from the ungodly heat - ah!

 He must have vocalized a few of those words because Cooper was quick to reply with more pressure. Holy shit, he thought. I've been shot. 

 "Yes Albert, you've been shot. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry this happened."

 A hand on his face, tacky with blood. His blood.

 "Albert, it's going to be okay. I've called an ambulance. And alerted the authorities. They should be here soon. Albert? Okay, Albert? You gotta stay with me. Albert!"

 Albert passed out again.

_tp_

Albert come to in a hospital bed. His arm was bandaged and wrapped against his chest, and the dull throb of pain combined with the cotton headed feeling he had pointed towards the fact that he was on the good meds. He cracked one eye against the blinding light and saw that Cooper was right where he expected him to be, or at least hoped he would be, sitting straight up in the chair with his eyes closed, apparently trying to meditate as he waited for Albert to wake. 

Albert took a few minutes to wake up more. He listened to the machines he was hooked up to, took in the private room and sterile smell of hospital cleanliness. He catalogued his pain, imagining the scar that was likely under his dressing. They had to dig out the bullet, so there'd be a few inches of flesh that was stitched together. At least, he hoped that the doctors in this back woods, undereducated part of the sticks didn't botch the surgery. He wiggled each of the fingers on his left hand to double check for nerve damage, and was satisfied when there was movement along with pain localized to the damaged area. He'd be on desk and light lab duty for at least 6 weeks. Albert sighed internally. He turned gently again to look at Cooper. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept all night. It was late morning, judging by the light coming in. Moments passed. Cooper twitched his nose a little, starting to move like he was coming out of whatever headspace he'd managed to get himself into. 

Albert sighed deciding to alert Cooper of his awake state before the drugs could take him back to la-la land. "Need a sketch of the punk kid who shot me?" Albert managed. 

Cooper startled and turned to look at Albert, laying a hand on his thigh without thinking. 

“Albert! You’re awake!" Cooper adjusted the volume of his voice at Albert's wince. "No, no sketch needed. The police caught him trying to rob a convenience store a few blocks away. They’ll need your statement soon.”

Albert blinked, feeling nothing but pity about the fate of the idiot kid and also annoyance at his own situation and stupidity. He blinked again, longer this time.

"Albert,” Coop said softly, still squeezing his leg. "You rest up. You've had major surgery. I'll alert the nurses that you're up." 

Before Albert could protest at him leaving, Coop has risen and headed it the door, and Albert had fallen back to sleep. 

_tp_  

The most annoying thing about being confined to a hospital bed after major surgery was not having control over when you slept. Everyone wanted you to rest up and get better, or at least the singular card and balloon from Cooper did. 

The meds didn't care if you rested or even when, but they knocked you out anyway. Albert woke up only a handful of hours later, then gone down again, irregularly for over a day since he'd been brought in. This was Albert's first real injury in the line of duty. Granted, his line of duty primarily took place inside a lab or a car to a crime scene with no bad guys present. The worst injury he'd gotten up to this point had been a self-inflicted gash with a scalpel after he had been in the lab for two days straight. 

The bullet, of course, was a bastard that cracked his collar bone, which meant he was ordered to stay in bed a while so it could gain some stability before he left. It also meant he'd be in a shit ton of pain for the next month and a half. Aside from driving Albert partially looney from stagnation, it also meant that Cooper wouldn't leave the premises for more than a coffee fix from across the street. And that was just once. The man had been surviving solely on burnt hospital coffee for him, and Albert couldn't fathom the reason why. 

"Coop," said Albert. "Coop, ya gotta leave. Go to the crime scene. Finish the freakin' case. Find that cat and put him on trial as a witness. Or an accomplice. Just get out of here and leave me to rot in peace."

Cooper looked up from his position by the bed. He had built a little nest of books from the gift shop and empty coffee cups over the last 30 hours and didn't look to be in a rush to leave at all. 

"Not a chance, Albert. You got shot, on my watch-"

"Oh don't give me that bullshit, you had nothing to do with it. There was nothing to watch out for anyway. I was the one who was too exhausted to even consider the kid would panic and pull the damn trigger-"

"I was in the bathroom way too long! I was just supposed to wash my face and grab new underwear but I was arguing with myself instead and look what good it did!"

"Coop," started Albert. "If for one second you think that your nightly beauty routine triggered a butterfly effect in the universe that made our mutual stupidity about leaving the door open in a shitty part of this goddamn hellscape lead to me getting shot by some middle school dropout, then you finally have lost it!" Albert took a deep breath in pain. 

"Albert," started Coop, realizing that anything said at this point should just be calming. The heart monitors had started beeping rapidly along with Albert's increase in pain. 

"That's it. I'm done. I've been fine, I want to see the damn nurse or doctor or goddamn janitor if he's got the AMA papers I can sign. And a prescription for pain meds because holy shit, Coop, getting shot hurts like a mother. Get me some pants, get me out of here. End of discussion."

"Albert," Coop rose, trying to calm him with another hand on his leg. "Cole said that you're in for the full 48 before-" 

"If you think I give a flying monkey's haircut about-" 

"Okay, that's enough! I care! Okay, you may not care about yourself or how you're in pain-" Cooper swallowed, " but I care alright! We're staying. Cole sent out other agents to the newest location, I handed over the damn case to them. We. Are. Staying."

Albert stared at Coop above him, amazed again at the sheer amount of loyalty and, dammit, just goodness in the man. And it frustrated the hell out of him because, dammit, who could say no to that face? 

"Okay then," he said. 

"Alright." 

"I'm going to hit this button to get more of that beautiful morphine."

"Sounds like a plan, Albert," smiled Coop, starting to relax. 

Albert rolled his eyes. 

_tp_

"Watch it!" 

"I'm driving as carefully as I can!" said Coop, frustrated. "I'm sorry if this hurts you, but we're almost there. I don't know if you know this but there are several potholes in this part of the city."

Albert had managed to sleep fitfully for most of the drive back home. He had behaved himself for most of the hospital stay which grated severely on his already fried nerves. Coop wasn't doing much better, having gotten half the sleep Albert had in the uncomfortable hospital furniture he chained himself to. Albert knew he was being a bad patient, a terse friend, but all he wanted was some peace and to not leave his apartment for the next week. 

Finally, thanks to no one and especially not the city of Philadelphia's poor upkeep with their road system, Cooper pulled the car up to the curb outside of Albert's building. 

Before Albert managed to unbuckle himself, Coop had jumped out of the car and rushed to open his door. Albert offered his arm and Coop helped him up, accustomed to Coop's insistence from his few days in the hospital. 

He let Coop hold the door open for him into the building, carry his bag, take his key and open up the apartment, tisk over the contents of his cupboard, and put fresh sheets on his bed. Internally, Albert was extremely grateful to Cooper for wanting to help so much, but he wasn't used to all the attention. He was daydreaming on the couch about Chinese take-out and cigarettes as he watched Coop flitting back and fourth, checking anything that came into his mind and rearranging everything else. 

Finally, after a whirlwind half hour of Cooper running around the small apartment, he stopped in front of Albert on the couch. 

"Albert! Will you be fine here? For a bit?"

"Yes Coop." Albert felt a rush of affection for his friend as he struggled to stand. "Thank you for all of this. But I'm fine." He put his good hand on Cooper's shoulder. 

Coop smiled wide, his face flushed from all the activity he'd done. "Glad to hear it, Albert." He went in for a hug and Albert instinctively flinched back, careful of his shoulder.

Cooper hesitated, but proceed to gently embrace Albert before he pulled back. 

Albert smiled despite himself. He had no idea how he managed to win over Cooper's loyalties and deserve his kindness, but after this week there was no way in hell he was complaining. He tried to direct his own emotions into strengthening the friendship, but was having difficulties in trying to react the right way - not too affectionately or too distant. He was partially glad that Cooper was leaving so he could sort his emotions out without the object of them touching him and being there for him. Ugh. He needed space before he said something stupid. At least he could blame it on the pain meds if something had slipped out. 

Cooper turned and made his way toward the door. 

"I'll let my self out, Albert. You rest. I'll be back in a jiff!" 

Wait, what? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, well where I wanted this to be more angsty it became annoyed fluff. dammit, these two, wanting to be happy with each other!


	3. Chapter 3

Back in a jiff? Seriously? Albert was torn between exhaustion and confusion as Cooper let himself out the door and locked it behind him. 

Exhaustion won, and Albert sat back down, careful to avoid moving his left arm, still strapped to his body. He let out a breath and distantly wished that he had gotten something to drink and turned down the air conditioner before sitting because realistically, he’d be there a while before attending to anything else. 

The air conditioner whirred on. 

Thank _fuck_ for Cooper. 

Other than that, the apartment was silent. No beeping from heart monitors, no road noise, no Cooper. Just Albert, sitting in the middle of the couch. Tired. Alone. Still.

_tp_

The noise of the door closing woke Albert up violently. The movement caused a gasp of pain and Albert reaching toward his bad shoulder in an attempt to drive it away, door momentarily forgotten. 

"Shit on a stick!" 

"Albert!" Cooper rushed over, dropping bags on the floor. "Albert, look at me, are you okay? What can I do?"

Albert opened his scrunched eyes to see Coop's worried face inches from his own, his hands hovering in between them, hesitant to touch. He slowly started to relax his muscles, trying to avoid more painful movement. 

Albert has seen Coop's worried face far too often in the past few days. 

The pain was dulling back down from the sudden tensing and Albert could think again. "No, Coop, I'm ok. Just moved wrong." 

Cooper decided on forward motion for his hands and they ended up on Albert's right arm and his chest, just barely touching the sling. His hands were warm and still. They both took a moment to calm down from the upset. 

"I'm so tired of this I could die," said Albert. 

"Don't even joke about it, my friend. I couldn't bear it," said Coop. 

Albert felt warm on the inside now too, and gave a half nod of recognition. "What did you bring me?"

Still crouching over Albert, Cooper replied. "Only the best Chinese in town! And some supplies from the store. And my bags."

"Your bags?" Albert asked, but Cooper was already back to the door. Albert smelled a whiff of Chinese food from his favorite take out place and his stomach gave a low growl.

"The food!" Cooper checked the contents. "Only slightly damaged. A crab rangoon has escaped the wrapping, but is undamaged. The rest can wait, are you hungry Albert?”

“You bet your ass I am.” Albert slowly scooted to the edge of the couch, still still from his awkward nap, and managed to stand while Coop started to set the small two-person table next to the kitchen. “Where did you throw my meds, Coop? This hurts like no other, I should’ve had a dose an hour ago.”

“I’ll get them, Albert, you go sit at the table and I’ll be right back.”

Albert did as he was told, too tired to argue about it or point out what a mother hen Cooper was being. 

Cooper came back with the bottle, sat it down, realized that Albert can’t really open the bottle, opened it for him, sat it down again, looked at it a moment, and decided to tip a pill out and set it in front of Albert, set the bottle back down, and then began to unpack the food. 

Eating was slow on Albert’s part, as he was enjoying the warm food and the silence. Cooper had finished first, and was making himself busy with more flitting to and fro across Albert’s small apartment. A loud bang alerted Albert to Cooper moving things around in the kitchen. 

“Coop,” started Albert. 

“You know, Albert, I consider you a friend, and most of my friends call me Dale,” he called back from his crouched position next to the sink.

“Okay,” said Albert more slowly, taking another bite of his food before continuing. “ _Dale_ , what are you doing in my kitchen right now?” Albert was proud that his voice fit perfectly around saying Dale, even though his heart jumped at the sound. 

“Cleaning! Albert, I’m cleaning and rearranging and -“ another crash “- at least attempting to and, Albert,” a pause, “I don’t really know what I’m doing,” finished Cooper, emerging from the kitchen doorway to face Albert. “I’m experiencing an uptake in nervous energy and I was attempting to relax it with movement. Obviously, that course of action did not have the desired effect.”

Albert chewed on his last bite of food, downing the rest of his water with it. “Use that extra energy to throw the rest of this mess in the trash, and grab us a couple beers. I’ll meet you on the couch.”

“Is that wise, considering the medication you’re on?”

A precise glance from Albert as he was rising from his seat spurred Cooper into action. “I gotta take a leak,” said Albert. Cooper being in his apartment still was weird, but Albert wasn’t used to having anyone but himself in the apartment. Actually, there hadn’t been anyone but the movers since he moved in. 

Moments later, Albert emerged from the hallway and saw Cooper sitting, straight backed, on the couch, two beers on the coffee table in front of him, both open, both on coasters he’d scavenged from god knows where. 

“God, Coop, take a breath.” Albert sat to Cooper’s left, instinctively keeping his damaged arm protected against any sudden Cooper movements. 

“Dale,” said Coop. 

“Fine,” replied Albert. “Dale. Hand me my beer, Dale. God, that’s weird to say.”

Silence stretched out as Albert leaned back slightly against the sofa and nursed his beer. Eventually, Cooper did the same, falling backwards into a semblance of relaxation that Albert knew he was feigning. 

"Been a hell of a week, Coop," Albert said to the stale silence.

Cooper gave a low hum of agreement.

The silence stretched on as they sipped their beers, not really invested in drinking but not knowing what else to do.  

“You know you can leave now, right?" started Albert again. "I’m a grown man who can get to bed by myself, and you’ve honestly done more than enough to help me out today. It’s been a stressful week, and you’ve got work to get back to the day after tomorrow so you need rest." He continued, a moment later, “Thank you, though. Seriously. Not just anyone would put up with me for so long and I really appreciate it.”

“I took a personal leave through next week,” said Cooper, still looking over the coffee table in front of them. 

“What?” Albert turned his head. “Why? Are you okay? I mean, that case we were on is still open and those dunces Cole replaced us with aren’t going to get anywhere without you.”

“I’m not leaving, Albert. I’m here until you’re healed.” Cooper took another sip of his beer, took Albert’s empty from his hand, and set both down on the table in front of them. “I seriously doubt that you can manage to get that sling off without my help, not to mention changing the bandage on your wound and even bathing at this point. Albert, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. My bags are by the door. I’m fully prepared to sleep on the couch tonight and the next few nights and indefinitely until you are okay.”

“Oh,” said Albert. That’s all he could really say because Cooper, no, Dale was right. He did need help. He just didn’t expect to be offered any. “Really, Dale. Thank you. Um. Unexpected. But what’s with the jittery mess you’ve been all night? I thought you wanted to bolt out of here as soon as you could to get some peace.”

“Do you really think so little of yourself?”

“As a general rule, people don’t like to be around me for long, so I suppose I have the facts to back up the claim. Plus, I’m a horrible patient.” Albert suddenly wished for another beer, but didn’t make a move to get up. "You're tired, I'm tired, and honestly, I could go on with reasons, but I have a feeling that you're not going to listen to any of them."

“I’m not people, Albert, and you aren’t annoying to me. I care for you, deeply,” Cooper let out a sigh. 

Albert snorted, beginning to put up walls that medication, beer, and the lack of nicotine had weakened. “Alright then.” Albert didn’t want to have this conversation. He wanted a cigarette and ten hours of uninterrupted sleep.

“What? What’s so unbelievable about that?” asked Cooper, finally turning to look at Albert next to him. 

“Don’t take offense, Coop. It’s nice that you’re my friend,” Albert said, spitting out the last word. “Listen, you can leave. Get me out of this damn sling and into a t-shirt and go home. I’ve had enough care to last me.” Albert felt a rush of needing to be alone again, ready to not have to deal with this situation, with _Dale_ sitting there next to him, professing his _deep care_ towards him as a _friend_. Albert was ready too crawl out of his skin with all the crap he was feeling at the moment, making him short and mean with Dale. 

Cooper looked confused. “What’s the matter Albert? Did I do something to upset you? I’ve just been trying to help.”

“Yes, and you’ve helped quite enough.” Albert tried to calm down, knowing that any more escalation at this point would just be bad and would make Dale want to stay even longer. “I can manage on my own.”

“No you can’t! I’m here! If I leave know, all I’m going to do is worry about you until I see you again! I don’t see what the problem here is, Albert!” Cooper looked exasperated. 

“Then deal with it!” Albert unleashed. “I”m tired of being around you! Just go, already.” 

“Why are you acting like this!?"

“Because it hurts, Coop!” Albert closed his eyes for a moment. Before Cooper could ask about his arm hurting, he let out a breath and continued. “It just fucking hurts, okay? It hurts to look at you and think about you and! It physically _hurts_ when you’re so damn close to me and caring so damn much all the damn time! It’s just too much, okay? I was fucking _shot_ the other day, excuse me if I'm a little overwhelmed with the sudden soap opera of emotions my life has become! Too much damn  _hurt_ and confusion and I just-“ 

Cooper cut him off with his mouth, kissing him suddenly. The moment called for passion and heat, but Coop was gentle, lightly touching Albert with one hand on his leg and the other just now making its way through Albert’s short hair to the back of his head, holding him in place. Albert was stunned and tensed slightly at the burn in his shoulder from the movement. 

Cooper was kissing him. 

Whoa.

Albert kissed back. 

Their mouths moved against each other in slow motion, dragging from one angle to the next. Albert’s right arm moved up Dale's back to his shoulder, gripping it and bringing him closer. Albert’s brain had gone from spitfire to frozen to rattled in a moment and he was still trying to compensate for the rapid changes. God, it was all he wanted in this moment to just tackle Dale back into the couch and continue on with activities indefinitely, but he was halted by the burning in his arm. 

They broke apart for a breath. 

“Shit,” said Albert, and leaned back into the kiss. “Shit, shit, shit. Dale.” He said between more presses of their mouths. 

Coop opened his mouth against Albert’s for only a moment before backing away, keeping his hand on Albert’s leg. 

“Albert -“ he began. 

“Shut up.”

“No, wait a second, Albert, I just wanted to say that I care for you more than just a friend, even though I value our friendship above all else, I hope that-“

Albert twisted awkwardly and pulled Dale’s arm back toward him and kissed him again, because dammit, and moved his arm to tilt Dale’s neck to finally deepen the kiss. 

“I get it,” Albert said after a moment.

Cooper replied in a groan as Albert’s hand explored his hair. Hands rubbed, grabbed, lightly touched all the territory that had been off limits just moments before. It was sensory overload for Albert, but he wasn’t complaining. He only wished he had use of his other arm. This time, the kiss went on longer and deeper until both men were out of breath.

They broke apart and Albert leaned back against the couch again, more winded that Cooper from all the strain his body had been under the last few days. It was almost startling to look around the apartment again, realizing that nothing around them had changed while everything between them had.

“Well,” said Albert. “That conversation took a turn.”

Cooper’s face had that thousand-watt smile since the kissing had commenced, and replied, “Yes, it did indeed my friend. A good turn, though, I take it?”

Albert flashed a smile at the look on Dale’s face. “Come here and find out.”

Instead of merely leaning over, Cooper went the extra mile with his newfound privileges and gracefully straddled Albert’s lap in one smooth motion, taking his mouth again with more passion, but taking care not to jostle Albert too much. 

Albert didn’t mind either way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh!


	4. Chapter 4

Albert was tired. He was tired and pissed off, an in desperate need of a cigarette.

And Dale, bless him, had brought cigarettes home for him. However, the bag they resided in was currently on the floor and entirely too far away from where Albert sat on the couch, and Albert was too tired and horny and pissed off to even move.

Why was he pissed? Same reason that the last few days of being pissed off had been filed with. He couldn’t move his stupid, bullet-hole and scar ridden shoulder or left arm without a significant amount of pain and stress on his system.

But Albert wasn’t entirely focused on that. He was more focused on the fact that he just made out like teenagers on the couch of his apartment with his male best friend. Being in his mid-to-late whatevers as a closeted gay man in the FBI, Albert was a grown ass man who did not partake in such activities on a whim or, as it so happens, in a handful of years altogether.

So he was freaking out a little.

Add up pissed off, exhausted, confused, in pain, a little cold, and needing but not really wanting a cigarette to freaking out, and you end up with an overload of emotions that Albert hadn’t felt singularly in ages. What was he doing about it? Well, since there was no one immediately in front of him for him to insult until they ran away, he was sitting in silence. Staring at the wall. Freaking out. It was like he'd used all his energy in the last few days, yet there was still so much thrumming through his body. It made him restless.

Albert and Dale just made out on Albert’s couch three days after Albert had been shot point-blank in a crime of opportunity a half a state away. It had been a rough week, really, so you can't blame him for the overload of emotions and mixed messages in his head.

Dale was currently in the restroom, taking a shower and changing into his sleep clothes.

Albert didn't really know what to do at this point, or if he should be doing anything at all. At least he could use this time to cool down from the sudden almost-sexual encounter he'd just shared with his... Dale. Dale had, after thoroughly exploring every inch of Albert's face and neck with his mouth, had dismounted and asked about the shower.

Albert had just stared up at him. "Uh," he said, his mind still on the track where he and Coop would be a little more naked than they were at the moment. "Shower," he continued.

"Yes, I, ah, kind of figured, since your arm, and everything, that we could continue this, if you want to that is, at another time, where, ah, you're feeling better?" Cooper looked wildly around the room they were in and then darted over to his bags.

"Yes-" started Albert.

"I've got my things here!" Cooper interrupted. "And I can just, you know, shower, then we can get you taken care of - you know, like with your wound and such, not with the, ah-"

"Coop!" It was Albert's turn to interrupt, finally recognizing that Dale was freaking out a little too. "Yes, to all of the above. Go. Shower. I'll be here."

Cooper had nodded enthusiastically, given Albert a thumbs up, and disappeared down the short hallway, leaving Albert where he was now. Sitting. Breathing. Still a little turned on. Holy shit, what a fucking life change to deal with - he was having relations with Cooper now? Damn if he didn’t see this one coming.

He heard the water turn off and started to get up, deciding that this was as good a time as any to take more painkillers. He just finished wrestling with the water when Cooper called him in to the bathroom a few minutes later.

“I’ve got all the bandage supplies in here, and I’ll go grab your pajama pants, and then we can get you all showered and you can get a fantastic night’s sleep.”

Albert nodded. Soon enough, Cooper reentered the bathroom with the pajamas and sat them down on the toilet. He stood in front of Albert, who gave him that resigned, blank face, ready for the sheer fun that this was going to be. Not.

Dale started with the swing his arm was in, carefully tearing the velcro fastenings at the front and supporting his arm as it loosened. Slowly, he let Alberts arm down by his side until it was vertical once again. Albert tried not to react to the pain and pleasure Cooper was causing him, but grimaced anyway. Cooper kept up a steady stream of muttered reassurances as he took the sling off of Albert and carefully folded it. Next, he started on the shirt buttons, first tugging the shirt from Alberts pants.

His arms brushed Albert's sides and made him shiver. Cooper looked up as he continued to unbutton the tiny buttoned, and gave a half smile. "Ya know, Albert, this isn't exactly how I'd pictured undressing you for the first time."

Albert tried to repress the sudden flow of blood to his face, among other places, but was blushing by the time Cooper had finished with the buttons. "God, Coop, timing much?"

"I know, I know. Now, careful, I'm taking the shirt off."

Albert complied again, really for lack of response than anything else, and tried his best to remain still while not tensing his damn arm. Cooper took in the sight of the bandage, pausing a little too long.

Albert spurred to action, undoing his pants with his right hand and letting them fall to the floor. He stepped out of them, and hesitantly asked Cooper to get his socks for him. Cooper complied, then flipped on the shower. "I'll be right here. Well, right out in the hall. Let me know if you need me. Your towel is there!" Cooper made his exit as gracefully as the awkward situation allowed and Albert finished undressing by pushing his boxers to the floor. The hot water was the best thing he'd felt all week, excluding what happened on the couch, and he took full liberties of letting the water relax the muscles in his back, taking care not to wet the bandages on his front too much.

The air conditioner had cooled his skin too much in the last few hours, and Albert felt his body start to normalize again, like he could breathe comfortably again. He half-heartedly soaped and rinsed, and shut off the water. He barely got the towel around his waist before he heard Dale knock on the door.

"Albert? Ready for me?"

As I'll ever be, Albert muttered under his breath. "Yeah, sure, why not. Join the party, Coop, it’s been lonely in here."

Cooper entered and offered his assistance with Albert's pajama bottoms. Once those were on, Albert dropped his towel and started picking at the bandages over his wound.

“God this itches,” he said. Cooper already started on laying out the supplies to clean and redress the wound as Albert tossed the soggy mess into the trash next to him. They both took a moment to look at the mess on his shoulder.

 “Ow,” said Albert.

The scar itself was about three inches long, extended unevenly from either side where the bullet entered just below his collar bone. They had used heavy, black stitches to close the wound, but it was still an angry red with bruising starting to blossom around the area.

“Not exactly a pretty sight, eh Coop?”

Albert looked over at Cooper and saw that he was looking down into the sink, presumably trying to gather himself. “It’s a beautiful one, Albert. It means you’re still alive, that you survived a random act of violence and are going to be okay. I think it’s a great sight indeed, Albert.” Cooper didn’t cry, but wasn’t far from it either, and Albert reached out his right hand to land on his shoulder in the small bathroom.

“That’s a nice sentiment, but nonetheless, let’s get this covered up, I’m about to fall asleep standing,” said Albert, gently and with great affection for his friend. A sudden pang from his shoulder made him wince audibly. “Damn, that hurt.”

“I’m sorry, is there anything I can do?-“ Cooper was cut off.  
  
“Damn! Shit damn!” Albert’s shoulder was flaring with white-hot pain, not adjusting well to the movement and temperature changes of the last few minutes. “Shit!”

“Albert!” Cooper gently laid a hand on his shoulders, one barely touching the skin close to his wound.  
  
“Just – distract me for a second!” Albert gritted.

“Ah, okay, um, well,” rambled Cooper, flustered at Albert’s pained face in front of him. “Recent development in my life, I just kissed my best friend, quite a bit actually, and it was really nice, and I want to do it again, if he’d allow. On a long-term, relationship basis.”

The pain in Albert’s shoulder started to recede slowly and he managed to open his eyes. “ I would allow, indeed. Unless you’re talking about another friend of yours I don’t know about.”

Cooper smiled. “Better?” At Albert’s nod, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Albert’s forehead, his nose, and lingered at his lips until Albert could lean and close the gap himself. The kiss was warm and dry and chaste, and Cooper pulled back and reached for the supplies, getting to work on Albert’s shoulder.

Freshly bandaged and with the sling carefully re-hooked around Albert’s bare torso, Albert took Cooper by the shoulder and led him into the bedroom. “Sleep in here tonight, yeah?”

Cooper looked at him with curiosity before saying, “What if I jostle you? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Get in the damn bed. If you hurt me, don’t worry about it, I’ll be letting you know by a sudden relocation of your ass to the floor. Now let’s sleep.”

Despite his lethargic vitriol, Albert moved with extreme care into the bed, Cooper straightening pillows into a supportive mound behind him as he got comfortable under the covers. Cooper climbed in on the side away from his injury, flipping off the bedside lamp as he moved, and turned onto his side facing Albert, but not quite touching him.

Both men were extremely aware of their own positions in relation to each other, eyes wide open in the dark room.

“Well, this is weird,” breathed Albert. “At least I’m on meds.”

 Cooper gave a small laugh and started to relax. “Do you mind if I –“ he put his hand on Albert’s side and moved closer to him. “Is this okay?”

Albert, half asleep and suddenly more warm and comfortable in Cooper’s arms than he had been in weeks alone, hummed in agreement. Cooper carefully squeezed Albert before relaxing completely, taking in his scent and warmth before dropping off into a dreamless sleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your comments and kudos! I appreciate any feedback :)

**Author's Note:**

> so... what do you guys think? what do you want to happen next? I'll update as soon as I can!


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